Listed below are seven common mistakes that can prevent effective negotiation from happening. Those who wish to sharpen their negotiation skills should review this list and prepare to encounter these potential pitfalls without allowing them to derail a negotiation would otherwise be effective and rewarding.

以下列出了七个常见的错误，这些错误可能会阻碍有效谈判的进行。希望提升谈判技巧的人应当查看此清单，并准备好在遇到这些潜在陷阱时，不让它们破坏本可能有效且有成效的谈判。

The most effective negotiators:

Don't blame the other party for creating the problem

不要责怪对方制造了问题

Even if you honestly believe that the other party is responsible for creating the problem, finger-pointing is likely to make the other party uncomfortable and defensive. Ultimately, blaming can cause the other party to attack you in response and destroy a potentially fruitful negotiation. Blaming in a negotiation should be considered counterproductive to your goals as an effective negotiator.

On the other hand, positive language can help to reduce defensiveness and develop the working relationship you want to build. As an example, rather than using words like "this is your fault" or "you screwed up when..." try asking "how could that have been done differently?", which gives the other party an opportunity to consider better ideas without feeling scolded for a less desirable decision that was made. Rather than focusing on blame or guilt, move on to generating solution ideas.

即使你真心相信对方应对问题负责任，指责对方也很可能让对方感到不舒服和防御。归咎最终可能导致对方反过来攻击你，从而破坏可能成效的谈判。在谈判中，指责应被视为对你作为有效谈判者目标的反生产行为。

另一方面，积极的语言可以帮助减少防御心理，并发展你希望建立的工作关系。例如，与其说“这是你的错”或“你在...搞砸了”，不如问“还有什么方法可以处理得不同一些？”这给对方提供了考虑更好方案的机会，而不会因为做出不太理想的决定而感到被责备。与其关注指责或内疚，不如专注于生成解决方案的想法。

Don't use threats

Threats are less effective at motivating agreement and building rapport than are beneficial offers. Using threats as a possible means of getting the other party to agree to a solution will almost definitely result in mistrust and tension. It is important to remember, however, that if the other party is not negotiating with your party in good faith, this might indicate that you will not be able to build a lasting working relationship despite your best efforts. In this case , where the other other party is not negotiating fairly and there is almost no chance of working jointly in the future, the strategic and careful use of threats as leverage may become necessary to continue moving your negotiating agenda forward.

威胁在促使对方达成协议和建立融洽关系方面的效果不如有益的提议。使用威胁作为让对方同意解决方案的手段几乎肯定会导致不信任和紧张。然而，需要记住的是，如果对方没有以诚意与您的团队进行谈判，这可能表明尽管您尽了最大的努力，也无法建立持久的合作关系。在这种情况下，当对方不公平谈判且几乎没有未来统统合作的可能时，战略性和谨慎地使用威胁作为杠杆，可能成为继续推进您的谈判议程的必要手段。

Don't assume that a comment made by the other party is intended to be negative even if it seems like it is

不要以为对方的评论是负面的，即使它看起来像是负面的。

Being clear about what is not only said, but also meant by a comment is crucial to communicating well during the negotiations. Misunderstandings may be more likely during negotiations since some or all of the individuals participating may have strong opinions and emotions about the either clarify or retract a seemingly negative statement before you respond directly.

在谈判中，明确说明一条评论不仅表达了什么，还意味着什么，对于良好沟通至关重要。由于参与谈判的某些人或所有人可能对某些观点或情绪持有强烈的意见，误解在谈判过程中可能更容易发生，因此在直接回应之前，最好先澄清或撤回看似负面的言论。

Instead of assuming that a statement made by the other party was intended to be negative or offensive, ask for clarification. For example, simply asking "What did you mean by that?" gives the other party a chance to explain the seemingly negative comment to prevent a misunderstanding. Another tactic is to repeat the comment made by the other party followed with your understanding of it and ask for clarification (e.g..,"I'm not sure I understood you. When you said" the price is found too much on the high side, did you mean that it is far out of the line with the market?).Asking for clarification also gives the other party an opportunity to retract and change a negative comment that was made in haste, without the need to argue and risk derailing the negotiation.

与其假设对方的某句话是带有负面或冒犯意图的，不如寻求澄清。例如，简单地问“你这句话是什么意思？”可以给对方一个解释看似负面的评论，以避免误解。另一种方法是重复对方的话，表达你对其的理解，然后请求澄清(例如，我不太确定是否理解你的意思。当你说“价格偏高”时，你的意思是价格远高于市场水平吗？)询问澄清也给了对方一个机会收回并修改匆忙发表的负面评论，而不需要争论，也不会有破坏谈判的风险。

Don't react to provocations

不要对挑衅做出反应

Even if the other party makes an intentionally negative or offensive comment, don't lose your temper. By keeping a level head and staying cool, you may be able to salvage the negotiation. If you need to , step away from the negotiation to calm down. Be sure to carefully plan your response and choose words that don't further escalate the negativity.

即使对方故意发表负面或冒犯性的评论，也不要发脾气。保持冷静和理智，你可能还能挽回谈判。如果需要，可以暂时离开谈判场合以平复情绪。一定要仔细规划你的回应，并选择不会进一步激化负面情绪的措辞。

One tip to help defuse negative feelings is to address them as soon as possible by using "I" statements to explain how you understood a particular comment that was made and how that comment made you feel(eg. "I felt both saddened and concerned when I heard the comment that was just made about the selection of particular vessels and I think it's so central to make punctual delivery that I'd like for us to discuss it a bit more before we move on").It might also help to restate the group's goal to collaborate to reach a solution that benefits everyone at the negotiation table. You may want to ask for a re-commitment from everyone to this goal and brainstorm suggestions from the group that might prevent similar disruption during the negotiations.

帮助化解负面情绪的一个建议是尽快处理这些情绪，可以使用“我”陈诉来解释你如何理解某个特定的评论，以及该评论让你产生的感受(例如：“当我听到刚才关于特定船只选择的评论时，我感到既难过又担忧。我认为准时交付至关重要，所以希望我们在继续之前能多讨论一下这个问题”)。同时也可以重申团队的目标，即共同合作以达成对谈判桌上每个人都有利的解决方案。你可能还希望请大家重新承诺这一目标，并集思广益，提出一些建议，以防止在谈判过程中出现类似的干扰。

Don't dismiss the feelings, idea, or opinions of others

不要轻视他人的感受、想法或意见

The rule in the negotiation process is that every counts and everyone's contributions will be respected. During the sometimes frustrating negotiation process, people may speak or respond emotionally out of fear or anger. To properly deal with these emotions that can ruin a potentially effective negotiation, it is important to acknowledge them and to try to understand their source. Dismissing another's feelings or opinions as unreasonable can provoke an even more intense negative emotional response.

谈判过程中的规则是每个人的意见都重要，每个人的贡献都应该受到尊重。在有时令人沮丧的谈判过程中，人们可能因为恐惧或愤怒而情绪化地发言或回应。要妥善处理这些可能破坏潜在有效谈判的情绪，重要的是要承认这些情绪并尝试理解其来源。将他人的感受或意见视为不合理可能会引发更强烈的负面情绪反应。

Don't disagree with group members in front of the other party

不要在其他人面前与组员意见相左

To be taken seriously by the other party, it is important that your group show its solidarity and professionalism during the negotiation. Disagreements among your group members indicate a lack of consensus and may lead the other party to think that your group is disorganized or that it hasn't thought through the issues carefully enough before requesting the meeting. To avoid disagreeing with other members of your group in front of the other party:

• • fully discuss the issues and the group's position with your members before requesting the meeting with the other party,
• • share all information relevant to the issue and the group's position with all members of your group(e.g. through newsletters, email, regular group meetings, etc.)
• • clearly and openly state the "official" version of the group's regarding the issue and ask for member feedback.
• • agree on process issues and speaking parts as a group(e.g.., do you group members understand and agree on who will contact the other party to request a meeting or respond to inquiries the other party may have about the group?, are your members clear how the meeting will be conducted and what the agenda will be?), and
• • remember that it is better to offer to the other party that you will respond to a question at a later date rather than to argue with other group members over what an appropriate answer might be.

        展示团体的团结和专业性非常重要。成员之间的分歧会表明缺乏共识，可能会让对方认为团体组织混乱，或者在会议之前没有充分考虑相关问题。为了避免在对方面前与团体成员产生分歧：

• • 请求与对方会议前，与成员充分讨论问题和团体的立场
• • 将所有与问题和团体立场相关信息分享给所有成员(简报、电子邮件、定期团体会议等)
• • 清楚、公开地说明团体针对该问题的“官方”立场，并征求成员反馈
• • 就流程问题和发言部分达成一致意见(例如，是否了解并同意谁将联系对方以请求会议或回应对方可能对小组有的询问？你们的成员是否清楚会议将如何进行以及议程是什么？)
• • 与其与其他小组成员争论何为合适的回答，不如向对方表示你将在稍后回复问题

Don't think of the negotiation as "win-or-lose" position

You should avoid the all-nothing way of thinking by focusing on shared interests and goals. To agree upon a resolution to the problem, each party should try to suggest solutions that the other side would find appealing given its concerns and interests. Also, in a negotiation, compromise should be an expected part of the process. Stay focused on your goal and accept that, in order to reach an agreement with the other party, you probably won't get everything you want, but you can make some great progress for your members and your community.

你应该避免非黑即白的思维方式，而是专注于共同的利益和目标。为了就问题达成解决方案，每一方都应该尝试提出对方会觉得有吸引力的解决方案，同时考虑对方的关切和利益。此外，在谈判中，妥协应被视为过程中的一部分。保持专注于你的目标，并接受为了与对方达成协议，你可能无法获得所有想要的东西，但你可以为你的成员和社区取得很大的进展。